Well, I am a 29 year old male. About a year ago I had my first gay experience. Which would be fine, if the guy didn't have genital warts. Well needless to say I didn't find out until well after. I was waiting for symptoms and even marked my calendar out six months to allow for the incubation period hoping to God I dodged a bullet. I even starting dating a girl who I was crazy about, but I couldn't get too serious with the fear that I might have something.
One day I found a bump, it was pretty typical of a wart. I had had one on my hand and it was similar, rough, obvious, and almost seemed seperate from the rest of my skin in a way (just out of place). I freaked out pretty bad, I took a needle and tried to lance it hoping it was something else. It just put a little hole in it, no pain or anything. I got to work pretty quick and used Apple cider vinegar. Surprisingly this worked wonders, the cider burned the whole thing off leaving a nice little crater, it never scared or anything. The next night with my girlfriend she we started fooling around a bit but I wouldn't let her touch me. I said I cut myself shaving (lol). We broke up a few weeks later, whatever I had scarier things to deal with.
So I began the waiting, I did research and wanted to wait 6 months again to see if anything else showed up. Set my calendar and got ready for the long haul. The one spot never did anything else and I began watching the rest of the area very carefully. Now interestingly enough it gets to a point where anything could be wart. You never seem to remember what was there and what is new. Paranoia can get the better of you. Any little bump made me grow suspicious, it got to the point where I went out and bought compound w (I didn't have insurance and was between goood jobs). I started to think I was seeing warts, very small and more papular, I still don't know if they were. I had small barely noticeable papular look spots, what almost looked like small pimples. Now I've always had two bumpy that I know we're hair follicles, but more seemed to there and the timing was about right. They were just strange enough to where I over reacted. I applied the compound w liberally, and it was a huge mistake. That shit hurt worse than anything I could imagine. The first layer of skin turned black and peeled off, after a few days of redness it returned to normal, no scaring or anything, but the bumps still seemed to be there. Depression set in, I fucking hated myself. I took to drinking heavily, very heavily. I would find myself a fifth in every night just wanting to kill myself. I even got close a few times, I keep a shotgun in my room and on more than one occasion got drunk enough to put it to my head. I barely remember those nights, I just remember the emotions and the gun(i since gave it to a friend to keep away from me).
Eventually I got a job that offered insurance. I was still depressed and needed to know what the bumps were. I researched night and day with no clear answers. It took me time to get my finances stable enough to get an appointment. Before hand of course I met another girl who was awesome. We hung out a few times and I wanted to get closer, but the mental block was there. I couldn't do it (she recently found someone else, Que sera). I finally got my appointment, you'd be surprised how nerve wracking it is. Even the aids test scared me shittless, that came back negative at least. The doctor looked quickly and said everything looked normal, but it was so quick. The little bumps and papules are hard to see. Needless to say I felt better for a day. Unfortunately I started digging into forums again and read about a misdiagnosed positive case that sounded a lot like mine. It got me thinking again, maybe I do have a breakout. I want to go out, Have fun, and get close to someone again. I just dont want to put someone through this shit. I think I need a second opinion.
Idk any thoughts anyone?